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120+ George Carlin Quotes On Politics, Government And Religion Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. ", 22. ", 16. You ever notice that? "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. ", 5. ", 121. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. How do school teachers handle this? Politicians don't care about you. It doesn't matter what side you're on George Carlin "Forget the Politicians" and tells it like it is So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. ", 58. Broadly speaking. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . Thats against their interests. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. ", 63. Fascism won it. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. ", 89. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. "How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? They dont give a fuck about you. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. Thats the problem. ", 13. He missed this one. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. 2005 George Carlin bit narrates ad on 2020 American reality - Fast Company George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. Was George Carlin a liberal or a conservative? - Quora This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. George Carlin Quotes On . At all. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. ", 41. Carlin is funny as hell. It takes up a lot of your time. "Never argue with an idiot. ", 111. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. And complaining about the politicians. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. ", 48. You don't. You have no choice! "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. ", 47. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. ", 69. This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. ", 60. They own all the important land. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Keep your circle small. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. 1. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They Own You' "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. '", 73. [] I look at war a little bit differently. They should be more vivid. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). After that, they dont want to know about you. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. This cookie is used by Akamai to optimize site security by distinguishing between humans and bots. ", 115. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. ", 118. Join. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I like people who buck the system. ", 80. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". Everybody says they suck. Trump did not fall to Earth from. '", 78. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. ", 4. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. 41. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. At all. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin: Dumb Americans (2006) - Full Transcript The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. Yeah, the public sucks. ", 81. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. They don't want to hear from you. If a dog can do it, you can watch. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. It's so f**kin' heroic. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? No nothing. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. ", 29. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. You don't say that about cats. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. ", 53. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. They own everything. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. They own you. Because you have the illusion of choice. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Whats that, a bonus? Which doesn't make any sense at all. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. He saw it from a . "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 2. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. ", 42. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. You know what they want? Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. 50+ hilarious Cowboy jokes that will make your day: quotes, sayings They own you. ", 92. ", 15. 60 George Carlin Quotes to Help You Find Humor in Life - Quote Ambition All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media 28. r/antiwork. Toothpicks? You have owners. It creates a hostile work environment. That's the problem. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Its you. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. ", 34. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. That doesnt help them. It helps in improving the performance. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads On Election Day, I stay home. No nothing. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. George Carlin. - Gin Wigmore. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. I'm a cowboy who . This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. No nothing! The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. "In America, anyone can become president. ", 95. Well, we know what they want. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. A cat . "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. You have owners. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Whitney Webb on the Globalist Overlords Meeting in Davos - George Carlin. They own and control the corporations. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. '", 70. Now I feel better. Why is modern comedy so bad compared to its golden age? ", 102. "People are fucking nuts. Everything He ever makes dies. You and I are not in The Big Club. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police.